Heart Stretching

How does one go from ---“I will never do that again”….to…..”I can’t wait to go?” For me it took five years of heart stretching!!!!

Going back to Africa reminds me of child birth. I remember the first time I was pregnant, the excitement of pregnancy, the nervousness of delivery, the fear of not being a good parent and the awesomeness of the whole experience. But during delivery, I recall that moment when I told (maybe yelled) at my husband there was NO WAY I would do this ever again. However, four years later I did have a second child. Why? Did I realize that the small amount of time it took to deliver a baby was so worth it? Never once did anyone tell me that it wasn’t worth it. Having children taught me that I could love someone more than myself. That I would value their life over anything I chose to do with mine. The nine months of pregnancy and the 12 hours of delivery was worth every minute.

When I look at my first trip to Africa, I was there 20 days out of 14,600 days I have lived so far.

Yes…it was a hard trip, Yes…I was completely out of my comfort zone, Yes….I was full of fear. Yet even though I found myself in a place that was different than my lifestyle, I found the trip was so worth it. I found that by going to the hardest places in the world, I was finally learning what compassion for others was all about.  I was learning that I was called to share my fortunes with those less fortunate.

Even though at the time, I said I would never go again, I am finding myself  five years later, excited to be spending another 30 days out of my comfort zone for the sake of others.

After returning to Wisconsin from Africa in 2007, it took many months to come to grips with the luxury of my life versus the severe poverty of others. Even though we have poverty in America, it doesn’t even compare to what I had seen in Tanzania. I would find myself wondering why we have so much when others have so little.

My most vivid memory when I returned was my how my definition of beautiful had taken on a different meaning.  I had just left a country where the scenery consisted of bumpy dirt roads, brown clay dirt everywhere, run -down buildings, and people walking everywhere. As I turned the corner in my subdivision, I was over whelmed with the beauty I saw.  I was driving down a smooth paved road in my nice comfortable air conditioned Pilot, looking at the brightest green grass and trees down both sides of the street, then my large two story house appeared.

It was actually breath-taking! I was feeling overwhelmed at what beauty felt like. Of course, within a few weeks I became unaware of what that ‘beautiful’ felt like. Driving down my street became the norm of what I saw every day. I was back full swing into living my comfortable American life. I was still remembering, but never desiring to visit again the experience I had in Africa. I was moving on and not thinking about Africa.

I didn’t realize at the time that my heart was already starting to stretch. That I would start wrestling with the idea of who I was and what my purpose was here on earth. That I was going to be challenged on how I viewed life and other people. Believe me….change is hard!! It takes time!